Why would you get a lingam massage?

A frank question answered frankly by men that have gone and got one.

Straight forward enough for you? Good. Let’s get started.

Clive, 45, Ipswitch.

Lingam massage wasn’t the first kind of erotic massage treatment I’ve had but it is definitely the one that’s stuck with me. First time I got a massage was on a lads holiday, I must have been 21, 22? We were in Thailand and that’s sort of what you go Thailand isn’t it? It was alright but can’t say I can remember that much of it, we were all bladdered like. The next time I got one was on a stag and again can’t say I remember much. It was something like 10 years later, I had a mate round and we were just watching the footy and he was asking like you are now bout my experience. I described what I could remember and he said it must have been some sort of body to body massage. Now you can judge me however you like but just for some context, I’ve always struggled to keep a stable partner. I always lose interest! What can I say? But getting into my 30’s was a wakeup call… I want a family like, always have.  So see, when we were having this convo about massage it was in relation to a problem I was having. I’d been seeing this lady for a while, and I liked her I really did but she was really not in to oral; couldn’t stand it. I mean that’s one thing but I more than most absolutely love oral, I wouldn’t say I was obsessed but I’m certainly passionate about it. Which is why my mate suggested I get a lingam massage. It’s not like cheating on your missus with some floozy down the road, it’s getting a treatment to relieve stress from a trained professional. Did I mention that? I was going through a fairly stressful time. I’d been made redundant and I was not only struggling to find work but my confidence was low and interviews were difficult. So I went and got this lingam massage. And let me tell you, it changed my life. Afterwards, I felt so good that I smashed this interview. I felt calm and collected and generally happy. Then I went home and asked my lady to marry me. Knowing that I knew the only missing piece of the puzzle could be outsourced I knew I was ready. That might not sound dead romantic but we’re still happy and have two kids, a dog and a house- and I owe it all to lingam massage.


Mike, 25, Chelsea.

Is it embarrassing to say lingam massage saved my life? Well, I don’t care if it is, because it’s true, it did. Now full disclosure- I was born with what might be defined as a micropenis. Now this especially disturbed me during my adolescents with all my friends boasting about the size of their manhoods and every girl in class whispering about who they supposed was well hung and who weren’t… these memories scarred me. Going to university I avoided sexual encounters and never got involved with anyone romantically. I think my mum thought I must be gay. It was only when I was 23 and intensely, deeply horny that I started looking on google for an alternative option. After hours of scrolling, I found myself reading about lingam massage. See the thing with lingam, it’s actually an excellent therapy treatment for guys with smaller dicks because it’s all about celebrating the penis- whatever the size. I’ll admit I was nervous, no-one had seen my penis in years but my masseuse reassured me and put me at ease. She made me feel good and confident within my self. She showed me how much could be done with my dick and how it worked just as well as any other. It might sound stupid but this was groundbreaking for me.  I left the parlour feeling better than ever, I felt like a new man. And now? Well since then I’ve had a string of girlfriends but I’m in something pretty serious right now, I’m enjoying it.

David, 47, NYC.

Would you believe me if I told you I fell in love with my masseuse after a lingam massage and asked her to marry me? Well, that’s what happened. Crazy isn’t it! I told my mother we met online of course! I had never experienced such an overwhelming feeling of emotion and that quickly turned in to devotion.  I knew I had come across something good and I knew I wasn’t about to pass it by. We met in London but we’ve now relocated to New York due to my work commitments. I am immensely happy and get lingam massages on the regular. Life couldn’t be better. I went from being a sad divorcee to a very happy father of one sweet baby girl and the husband of a beautiful talented woman. My wife and I laugh that she accepted my proposal on the account of the size of my penis and I joke she married me for my wallet- but what I think really happened was that with such an intensely romantic and intimate setting two strangers fell in love. Romance eh!

If you would like to share your story of how lingam massage changed your life simply email us and you might feature in next month’s blog post! Until then, enjoy!

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